Slumberjack

“He cuts down stress and logs zzz’s.”

Introducing Slumberjack—the burly, bearded indica that shows up flannel-clad and ready to chop your anxiety down to firewood. One puff and this lumber-chill legend tucks you in tighter than a weighted blanket at a bedtime story convention.

With dense, sticky buds that look like they’ve been forged in a cabin deep in the forest, Slumberjack delivers an aroma of pine, earthy spice, and just a hint of “I quit my job and moved to the woods.” The flavor’s got that classic campfire vibe—herbal, woodsy, and sleepier than a bear after brunch.

Expect heavy eyelids, a loosening of every muscle you forgot was tense, and a brain that goes from “what if?” to “who cares?” in record time. This one’s not for when you want to do things—it’s for when you want to undo everything.

Side effects may include:

• Audible sighs of relief

• Couch fusion

• Vivid dreams involving moose and inner peace

Slumberjack—because the only thing you should be chopping tonight is your to-do list. Right in half. With an axe.